Just a normal Sonic FF
by Mr Halfwright
Summary: Read and regret. Sudden grammar and spelling error, Actually rated M but people who write this kind of stuff keep it at T anyway, or say "It may go up to M later" so who actually cares? Not you obviously because you're going to click.
1. Chapter 1

Just a normal Sonic Fan Fiction.

This story is supposed to look shit.

* * *

><p>One bright sunny winter's day, Sonic the hedgefaggot decided to cruise through Mobius and go to Burger King; a fast food restaurant that could be found on earth.<p>

Sonic: yum yum sonic said in script language without quotations, confusing the hell out of everyone who comprehends even the slightest bit of English.

Shadow: Yes I agree sonic shadow says turning up suddenly.

Then silver the hedgehog time controlled in front of them, according the popular fan fiction that meant they now had to have gay buttsex.

The three hedgehogs went inside, then proceeded to have buttsex on the counter as young children and gay furies watched on.

Each hedgehog cumed 70 times during their gay time.

Suddenly someone turned up, it was HalfWright, an annoying and unexplained self insertion that no one gives two shits about.

"Hello guys lolz," HalfWright said in a normal written English conversation, because the author was sick of writing script language.

**(The author is not actually sick of writing script language, he's finding it quite enjoyable actually. Now he's annoying you with a stupid authors note, which should be at the start or end of the fic itself.) **

Sonic noticed HalfWright, and suddenly remembered his long and detailed past he has with this douchbag self insert.

"HalfWright my old friend!" Sonic cried, as Shadow nibbled his penis tenderly.

"Hello Sonic! How are you." HalfWright replied.

Suddenly Eggman completely brewed up the Bugler King they were all ins and entered from through the wall.

"Hello HalfWright!" Eggman said, "My old and worser nemesis then Sonic!"

Suddenly HalfWright used some amazing powers that made Sonic think he was top shit, destroying Eggman and his up until now unstated robots within seconds.

Meanwhile in Dawnstar, a dragon was attacking for the 50th fucking time.

Eggman flew away cursing, before flying back and ordering over 9000 burgers and flying away again.

Sonic: Oh my stars!

Shadow: Cordon blui

Silver: Now everybody down at McDonnellzzz they down with Ronnell McDonnell and now they hitting the bottle and everybody coolllll!

The Burger King staff proceeded to kill Silver

And with that, HalfWright suddenly disappeared, vanishing from a hedgehog who could fly, a hedgehog who could teleport anywhere, and a hedgehog who could run faster than the speed of sound.

"Guys, we must find out where HalfWright disapared to!" Sonic exclaimed, "He has a pointlessly dark and horrid past that doesn't fit into anything and doesn't create an epic character!"

"My god, what is it!" Shadow the anti hero hardassed not give a shit about anybody except Maria cried out loud.

Suddenly Tails the fox flew down in his awesome contraption 20balgilion and 12. "Hi guys" he said, flying off again because no one seems to pay him much attention despite how awesome he is.

Meanwhile at Eggman's base. Eggman was pushing out a grumpy.

Suddenly Amy appeared out of nowhere, and had to make the tough decision whether she wanted to be with Shadow or Sonic, despite the fact on many fics the selected characters are either Amy/Sonic or Amy/Shadow, therefore eliminating any story that the uncreative piece of shit fic does not already have.

"Hi guys" Amy said, screaming when she saw Shadow, Sonic and Silver having gay buttsex on the counter, Silver somehow being revived. She suddenly became a hermaphrodite and joined in.

Elsewhere, a dark and evil force was watching, YaoiHentaiDrawer.

"Yes, yes, yes! My evil plan is coming to pass! Soon, no FF shall contain ungay sex of any kind YaoiHentaiDrawer exclaimed without ending quotations. "The only thing that stands in my way is that annoying HalfWright!" YaoiHentaiDrawer yelled.

**(I didn't actually mean for that to happen... just writing on the go again... O_o) **

Suddenly HalfWright burst through the wall and exclaimed "I live up to my name!"


	2. Chapter 2 look ma, no chapter title!

1 fine winters day, sonic the hedgefaggot went down to burger king, a place only located on earth. this is of course a joke used in the previous chapter, but it doesn't matter much since creativity fics are a rare thing on FF.

**(also rare, but ewually annoying is fics written entirely in notepad. I wall of course try my best to keep the fic legible, but you can see how destarious that will turn out. some mistakes will be intentianal however)**

heres some random lyrics...

And I was like baby, baby, baby, oh Like baby, baby, baby, no Like baby, baby, baby, oh I thought you'd always be mine, mine  
>Baby, baby, baby, oh Like baby, baby, baby, no Like baby, baby, baby, oh I thought you'd always be mine, mine<p>

suddenly, the audience turns on youtube and serchs "rickroll"

anywhore, Sonic, wait, I mean sonic, went into burger king and ordered yaoi buttsex.

sonic: one serving of yaoi buttsex please with extra dick fries, also one chilli dog to take away and stick up my anus hole later.

the bugerking bitch behind the counter suddenly looked at sonic like he was on narcotic substances, which sonic of course was.

sonic: oh burger king bitch... many troubles are striking me the morning, most notabal of which is when my long time hamaphidite girlfriend of who I don't give two fucks about dumped me... I is very saddist... because I is sad, I am on drugs.

burger king bitch: I was actually looking at you like that because I** (see, even in notepad I can capitalise the letter i when used as a personal pronoun... just interupting the story in the middle of some shit.)** was wondering if you knew what I was talking about before those paranthisesessseseseseseseses or if you wanted me to take the chilli off the chilli dog so it doesn't burn your rocky mountain canary.

sonic: oh yes, that would be nice.

the fuhrer king bitch tooked off the chilli and handed to hot steamy sausage to sonic, who instly left the builiding.

he didn't realise once, that he never had the gay yaoi buttsex. even though it makes the story much more berabal to read without gay buttsex, it may confusey peoples a wittle.

suddenly shadow turneded up.

shadow: I is black... that is all.

shadow chaos controlled away again... even though it was never refrenced that he chaos cantrolled there in the first place.

suddenly meowth turned up.

hi, I'm not from this universe. Meowth said, before blasting off again.

suddenly knuckles turneded up.

knuckles: derp!

suddenly tails turnededed up.

tails: guys! cosmo retaredet! tails said, doing a little dance now cosmo was back.

mysterious voice: oh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ah! some mysterious voice said.

sonic: oh god no!

shadow: not a...

knuckles: derp!

mysterious voice: yes my fuckheaded friend knuckles! a not thought out at all much at all and non sensical OC! nya ha ha ha ha ha!

audience: NOOOOOOOOO!

suddenly mysterious voice guy attacked the sonic crew in a non detailed fasion, leaving people to wonder what was going on, who was hitting who or what the oc looked like, considering he haden't yet been explained.

sonic: oh nose, we are to be defeateds!

shadow: who are you? and why didn't i use my powers of awesomeness!

mysterious voice: I am foggot.

shadow: ive heard about you! your all evil and shits

knuckles: derp!

foggot: so what if i have a dark past knuckles? what matters is revenge for something sonic did becuase hes the protaginist!

foggot suddenly threw off his unexplined cloak revealing a...

sonic: RECOLOUR! SONIC SAID IN CAPATIALS SINCE THE AUTHOR COULDN'T COMPREHEND THE COMPLEX NATURE OF QUOTETATION MARKS AND THUS NEEDED A METHOD OF EXPRESSING VERY LOUD SUCH DIALOGES!

shadow: DID AH, SOMEONE CALL 9 - 1 - HOLY SHIT! WE, MOBIUSES... WHOOPS I MEAN EARTHS GREATEST HEROS NEED HELP! WAIT, "i" DON'T THINK THAT WAS NESSICARY CONSIDERING THE UNIVERSE WAS NEVER FULLY EXPLAINED!

mysterious voice: I'll save you!

suddenly some hot female... I don't know, lets say algerian sea slug burst onto the scean and beat up foggot which gave sonic a massive hard penis

knuckles: derp!

sonic: yes knuckles, she is quite hot.

**(suddenly the author realised he was using commas and fullstops and suddenly stoped lolz)**

suddenly sonic turned into a werehog and killed everyone

sonic please stop killing people shadow the ultimate lifeform begged like a little pre pubescient pussy bitch

sonic: ok shadow

becuase the random chick was dead sonic and shadow and gay funtime

anf they lived happily ever after in a confusing fic.

except for tails, who was only mentioned once... but he went off and killed chris thorndyke because i said sos smilely winkey face


	3. Chapter 3

After the burger king episode from last chapter that shall be incorporated intoside this chapter unlike the first one which isnt related to the story at alls sonic went home.

Though sonic didnt live anywheres so he had to goes to his best friends and littlesit bros tailses house.

Sonic: hello tails, how are we todays!

Tails: im good

Suddenly a werealgerianseaslug crashed into the ceiling

Werealgerianseaslug: roar!

Sonic pooed his pants... because sonic weres cloths in this fic like he does with every other canon; today he wore purple suspenders with one of those mulit coulored hat things with a spinny thing on top.

Sonic: i pooed my pants.

Shadow burst trough the wall and ate all the poo and had funtime with sonics bottom then disappeared again

Knuckles: derp!

Sonic: yes knuckles that was grate funtime

Knuckles was sad because he didnt get any funtimes from sadow

Werealgerianseaslug: enough!

Sonic: who are you to be? Sonic questioned

Werealgerianseaslug: I am the hot chick from before that you bit when you killed everybofy

Sonic: i turned you intos a werealgerianseaslug werealgerianseaslug? sonic asked

Werealgerianseaslug: yes and my name is mary sue!

sonisL well then mary sue, we must battle

sonic amd mary sue battle to the death

sonic gets defeeted and mary sue stands above him

SONGFIC TIME!

NIUNRIUNIUCNDSJNCJENUFEE!

WEEE WWEEEE!

Le smashy smashy!

*Bang crash* WEJNFNURENUENEENVUJNRUNURGNU!

Dirnt wub wub wub wub wub dirnt wub wub wub wub neeheeweheeerreeee warhwarhwub!

Le random Dubstep song youve never heard of and will never look into.

Suddenly eggmans turned up for randoms reasons or somethings.

Eggman: KNOCK KNOCK! Egmman saidid, smashy through the wall

Mary sue: it is u!

Egman: it is I

Mary sue: it is u!

Eggman: is is I

Spongebob: spongebob!

Mary sue bet up Eggman, and went out with sonic the end

No not quite the end yet

Mary sue and sonic went on to kill everybodys in the world with there werewolf powere... mary sue suddenly became a... a... a... zebra.

Amy and Shadoew got angry at mary sue for having a bigger penis then s/he did and subsequentl killed her which sorta contradicted the point above.

Tails was never mentioned again though he was last seen going downstairs into his laboratory to build a legibility ray or some shit, some radiation from said legibility ray burst out and made the rest of the chapter readable.

Cosmo, Cream and those Chaotix douchebags were also never heard of, but finding someone who gives two fucks about them is even harder than with tails.

Knuckles derped around a little bit.

Ray and Mighty were never heard of again.

Burger king forgot to wrap its whopper and accidently impregnated dairy queen.

Antoine got blown to shit bits by Metal Sonic and Bunnie got sad. But that's just a joke on my part and is not poking fun at the one guy/girl who actually wrote a fic about it in any way shape or form since they wrote it in a legible fashion... giant floppy dildos.

MTV changed its name to SRTV after realising it played only songs and reality shows with no actual music; soon after people started to call it Shity And Retarded Television.

You lost the game.

HalfWright considered writing another Li Moon/Tails fanfic. HalfWright also considered using quotation marks in the next chapter since he was getting sick of script language. Oh look, what's that... did I just ruin something in the next chapter by making it more somewhat predictable in this one?

Eggman had a heart attack, but luckily for him he had no heart.

Chris Thornqueer was thrown in jail where he got molested by Big the Cat and Omochao.

Some cunts who wrote really some really good fics a few years back came back online and updated like a boss.

Sun glasses and the brim of a hat are both good ways to stop the girls from noticing you're staring at their tits.

Mr Tanaka and Ella, fed up at the fact they haven't got their own fic yet, started their own pest control business; currently they are fending themselves off from "really bad roaches" who are threatening to "stab you so good hombre... that you're going to wish I didn't stab you up so good."

Boeco scrapped Docoe and used the parts the make himself taller. Currently he's got a gig raping electronic equipment such as slot machines in Robot Chicken.

Bean and Bark... wait, who the fuck are Bean and Bark?

Metal Sonic caught a virus called Windows Vista. Unfortunately he had to be destroyed.

Blaze got caught smoking catnip, and was sent to prison where she was raped by Big the Cat and Omochao.

Ixis Naugus fired his lazer at everybody.

Silver realised he could jerk himself off with his telekinetic powers, but accidently caused his dick to explode by applying too much pressure.

All the females had a giant lesbian party, but ended up confessing their love for Sonic instead of scissoring... *sigh*

The Babylonian Rogues were arrested and sent to jail where they were molested my Big the Cat and Omochao.

Rouge suckled on her own boobies.

Chaos appeared and water dildoed everybody. Of course no one thought of asking Tails to like... you know... drop super absorbent tampons on Chaos with his X Tornado or anything...


	4. Chapter 4

Sonic said goodbyes to his mummys and daddys "goodbye mommys and daddys" sonic said "goodbye son" sonics dad said "goodbye sonic have a good day at high school today... because thats where a superhero guy needs to be." Sonics mum said.

Checking his bag onece more, sonic looked inside and stuff. "books, check... toilet paper, gay porn and lube, check... manana flavoured powerthirst... checkaroo." Sonic listed off, before running out the house hold generalized area of sorts n shit.

First up... maths class with Mr Johntouch" sonic stated, "most likely the only class I'll end up taking, since i'm going to be here for 20+ something chapters, just talking about random irrelevant social shit the author decideds to put in... no plot whatsoever." Sonic stated.

Sonic entres maths class... finding his good buddys tails and knuckles... today they were all wearing **FUCKING JEANS AND A T-FUCKING-SHIRT! EVERY FUCKING TIME! **

"begone foul creatures! Back to the swamp that spawned you!"

"Hi Sonic!" Tails exclaimed very homosexually, "I'm a suck-up bitch!" tails said. "Derp!" knuckles replied.

"Knuckles!" Sonic gasped! "how could you call Tails a suck up bitch!" Sonic asked.

"Derp!"

"well, that may be so!" Sonic said, getting interrupted buy knuckles again.

"derp!"

"I will fight you to the death about this conflict!" Sonic replied... Knuckles backed off a little, shaking his arms. To the casual observer, it would look like he was trying to say something more cleverer and shit.

Sonic punched knuckles and shit.

Knuckles fired his lazer and shit.

Principle zulu chucking spear sudden;y appered, "im princible zulu chucking spear! Come with me you two rombuscious homosexuals!"

A sign entitled "one month later" suddenly appeared in front of the television screen, it was blue with black swiggly lines going through it, around the sides were a sponge, a squid, a crab, and a ten dollar hooker lady.

Knuckles and sonic were in detetion, because they were baddasses in detetion they suddenly had girlfriends... two OCs going by the names of bitch and hoe.

Sonic had buttsex with bitch, while knuckles had buttsex with hoe.

"This feels so good" both sonic and knuckles said, cumming for the 'three fitty'-ith time inside their respective girlfriends viginas, even though they were having buttsex. The girls passed out from the incredibal pleasue they felt.

Meanwhile, tails was having sex with cream, because that always fucking happens... wait! Whats this shit! He has two penises!

Bavck to the intresting shit.

Silver was having sex with the big softy shadow.

No one was taking any drugs at all... strange... considering it's a normal social thing now days... oh wait... the author wouldn't know anything about that now would they?

Meanwhile... egman was planning evil.

Eggman: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha... when I mark sonics test F, the sky will fall on their heads... mwahahahahahahahahaha

Will our heros win over evil and shit... never find out next chapter!


	5. Chapter 5

story: sonic gets boned and sucked.  
>summary: sorry i suck at summaryz so plz red to finds out<p>

sonic was running throh the forst, because thats what foresty type cretures like to do.

suddenly, a wild werewolf appered.

werewolf used growl.

sonic used shit pants. oh yeah, sonics wears cloths. todays a pair of jorts, which is jean shorts for you dumb dumbs, pussy magnets right there guys and unatrative butch lesbians ;) with a pink wife beater, since he's in so much love with amy rose.

werewolf used fecal consuming powers.

sonic used rombustiously homosexual gay face.

werewolf used lick.

sonic is parylised and can not move.

werewolf used slam.

sonic used aeroblast.

werewolf used no me gusta face.

sonic used holy shit!

werewolf used bite.

sonic is now a filthy deasied whore... oh wait, i didn't mean to say now... just sonic is a filthy deiseased whore.

the werewolf ran off, instead of ripping the fuckers throat out, cos that's how badass it was.

oh my god! sonic screamed, sonic was in so much pain right then, cos the trans4mation happened just then.

sonic the werewhore traveled around killing cunts.

suddenly shadow appered, he was a vampire for some reason or other.

"die you not very nice at all person in general!" Shadow screamed, because sonic was a werewolf that meant he had to kill him.

the battle went for fucking ages and shit like that shit...

suddenly, the sun came out, much to sonics suprise.

"shadow, why are you all sparkily and gay?" sonic said.

"sonic, i glued glitter to my skin for some reason... even though i have fur." shadow said.

"oh, so its not like that faggish twilight?" sonic said.

"no, i was actually being sarcastic when i said that" shadow said "its just because the author put no jugs, boobies, dirty pillows, into describing my speach." shadow said.

"oh, ok then!" sonic said, "let us resume fistycuffs!" sonic said while shaking his hands in a manner that could only be described as guy wearing the borat suit thing on yellowish type paprus shaking his fists at another guy identical to him, except facing away from the other guy.

"that was my plan." shadow said evily and shit, spinning some pink fluffy handcuffs around on his 4finger.

"BONDAGE!" silver yelled, suddenly coming (lol, cum) up from the sewer where he belongs! THE SEWER! WHERE SILVER BELONGS! nah, jk... i haven't actually played a game with him in it, THE SEWER!

shadow peowed peowed sonic, then silver peowed peowed sonic.

"Omg!" sonic said very acronimicly, "i'm cumming!"

sonic came all over the place... it went everywhere and coved everything... except for shadow

"shadow is sad." shadow said, for he was very heart broken because he didn't get sea men on him.

after it was all over, the three hedge fags went into the living room and watched television.

after watching scourage the cowadly hog for a few nek minits, eggman came onto the televison angrily.

"Eggman!" the three hedgehogs cried.

"what!" Eggman said, "I like this program ok!"

suddenly, the author realised the pourpose of the chap again.

sonic battled shadow to the the the the the death, shadow battled sonic to the death, while eggman molested silver because he just could.

"die sonic" sonic cried.

"die shadow" shadow cried.

"molest!" eggman cried.

proper english cried... lots of times during this fic.

shadow killed sonic, sonic killed shadow, but in the end both were still standing, huffing and puffing.

"is the doggy hurt, does he want a bone?" shadow asked.

"oh, you can go suck that bone vampfag!" sonic replied.

"the only good stuff for me is in the middle of the bone... can you help me get it out?" shadow replied.

shadow and sonic proceeded to have a bone together.

from then on in, all werewolfs and vampires lived in peace in happyville.

that is... until blackular came to happyville and killed everyone. what? you think I'm being racist! it's an actual book! look up blackular on google right this instant! than proceed to watch some porn... videos being watched right now section = thank you violently masterbating stranger.


End file.
